The Suppression of Individualism

December 10, 2025 - Harper Wahler (9)

Every human is different. This is a fact, and an undeniable one at that. But one thing that some people can’t seem to compute is that individuality comes in many shapes and forms, and may very well not appeal to your own ideals. Whether it be in your interests, style, personality, heritage, or even something as simple as your sexual orientation, you have something unique about you. Something that sets you apart from others and makes you, you. So, at what point does variation become something to be ashamed of? To put it into simple terms, never.

As a visibly alternative person, I’ve always been a target of exclusion and mockery, something which has largely influenced my current appearance. I’m not blind to the fact that I stand out in a crowd, if the unicorn hair wasn’t a dead giveaway. But shockingly enough, this isn’t usually what brings about the harassment and judgment from my peers. Rather, it’s the way I present myself. To put it into perspective, I am rather loud about my queerness, both figuratively and literally. Being a lesbian has always resulted in aggression from certain groups, but even more so, it has unfortunately created a carefully crafted distance between me and others who, while not opposed to it, find it unnatural or even just embarrassing to be associated with. As a result, the clothes I wear and the makeup I put on are ostracized simply because they are viewed as “queer” and different from social norms. This forces others with similar separate identities into a tight box and even prevents others from allowing themselves to embrace things that are generally identified as gay or unnatural.

Now, sexual orientation isn’t even close to being the only or biggest element bringing about exclusion. Differences in the way one dresses are some of the most clear distinctions between what is considered acceptable and what is not. It would be ignorant of me to say that I haven’t noticed a growth in inclusivity considering different styles, but there still remains judgment when it comes to how people look and present themselves. One example of this was an occurrence I recall from middle school. Now, back then, there was already a lot of pressure to fit in with others, even at the cost of one’s own personality. A friend of mine was a victim of this.

  I will keep their identity anonymous, and for the sake of the story, I will simply call them Kennedy. Kennedy immediately stood out to me for being so utterly unique and themselves, a quality that greatly appealed to me in a circumstance where no one else seemed to do the same. Every day was another carefully selected outfit filled with whimsy and clear allusions to their interests. This particular day, they had chosen a more goth-inspired outfit, something I had seen them wear in the past but never to this extent. We were walking side by side in the halls when suddenly a whispered sneer caught my attention: “Roll up your sleeves, emo.”

That phrase repeated in my head for the remainder of the day, a dull ache in my chest hammering against my heart. Something I had always admired about my friend so quickly turned into something to be ashamed of, to avoid. Jeers like this continued in the coming weeks, not stopping despite numerous mentions to trusted adults and friends. I found myself growing more and more distant from Kennedy, secretly afraid of being associated with someone who was so publicly looked down upon. Of course, this didn’t stop the bullying from reaching me, as I similarly had a general look that deviated far from the mainstream. I regret every day not standing up for them, for defending their right to dress in whatever way made them happy. 

It is these restrictive ideas that keep us from being true to ourselves, that make something which would otherwise bring us joy only result in shame. It is no secret that nearly anything can become a reason to exclude others, whether it’s due to one’s religion, upbringing, looks, behaviors, friends, ideals, or mental well-being. So often, uncontrollable components come into play as well, especially when discussing physical defects, family life, and restricted freedoms. We are all victims of judging others for whatever reason. No matter what it is, someone will find a way to make it seem negative and shameful. What we need to do as a society is to push aside these dated social norms and make room for a brighter future.

What’s the first step? Well, to take one back. Look around at those around you, observe how others behave or are treated, and why this may be the case. Call out behavior that can be damaging in these interactions, and be the person who includes others despite petty differences. Most importantly, be true to yourself. Don't let others stop you from being the happiest and most fulfilled version of you. As Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”